Husband, Wife and Family

In family’s life, sometimes even the smallest sparks can make a fire and in some experience can burn down the whole family. I have seen this happened in peoples surround me, my closed friends and even my own family.

Yup, we are the growing old human and getting close to the earth (my friend told this part with ‘uzur’, its Arabic word). We never can get lost from mistake or making some errors. But then as a human, we always try to be a better and learn from others experiences and ourselves.

From several experiences that I’ve got, this one is the most nightmare that always has been rejected by all wife. Is living in one roof with her mother-in-law. These happened around the world, most in east part of this globe. There are some classic legend story about it or even the horror’s story about this two kind of human.

Some says their incompatibility happened because of the conflict of feeling and power. At the one side, she claim that her boy is her precious boy that must obey, be subject unto her, loyal to her, because she claim that heaven on her foot. But at the other side, wife claim that her husband is her soul mate that must be together forever traveling the life of marriage, in happy or sad, in rich or poor, in health or sick, until dead do us apart.

Pray : “O dear Jesus Christ, please help the family to stay together”

Other says their incompatibility happened (between wife and her mother-in-law) caused by financial. One side claim that her son is the asset that has been made with high risk and big capital. And this asset loan to his wife’s son, so when the became due, the investor can withdrawal the interest of her deposit. Sometimes can withdrawal anytime.

In the other hand, wife that works as financial director a.k.a CFO (Chief Financial Officer) with rank General with Unlimited Power and some people say ‘the person who behind the successful man’. When all the flows (fresh or not, legal or not, good or stink) must come thru her and ONLY with her approval. And when you must raise the service request for your seven fold financial proposal with ‘Letter Of Good Behavior’ from the Police Station, letter of less income from the local officer, even the letter from Civil Defense. So you can imagine with that kind of power, wife must be a smart one to handle all the decision and act for smoothness of cash-in or cash-out flow.
In the other story, their incompatibility happened because they’ve got different views. Either the views of religion, social, politics, defense and security, even the views of ‘soap opera’ (this can be an understanding situation since both of them is a housewife, just a different experiences).

The last one might be cause of something mysterious and mystics. These one mostly is the material of storyline on your favorites channels.

And these can be accumulated strong and fast if both party under same roof, its like putting ‘sodium nitrate’ into the water. Or like cat and dog, they cannot be together, they can only quarrel or can make a blood spilled (remember about horror movies).

Why this situation didn’t happened if husband stay one roof with his parent in law (wife’s parent) ? One thing that make the husband ‘survived’ is because almost men using the logic thinking compare with his reasonable feeling (heart). It will safe the money if we didn’t rent a house, just stay at parent’s house. Parent’s house is more cleaner and easier. ‘If’ and ‘Then’ situation (like a computer phrase), that always a pattern of husband’s logic thinking : “So my dear wife, as long as we stay together, my love will never die”

So how to handle this problematic of incompatibility between mother-in-law and wife ? There’s a way and easy to comply, make both of them realized about the situation that happened on their sides. The mother-in-law must see and realized the situation on his son’s family. Vice versa.

This cannot be separated from the most important thing, communication. Communication between husband, wife, mother-in-law and if necessary, father in law can be counted in this part. This will makes all clear and all parties understood of situation that already happened.

No doubt the magnanimity, think with the head cold and the will to make it better in the future, makes life become more lives.

Pray : “O dear Jesus Christ, guide us to imitate the Holy Family”

At the end, wife can live with her mother-in-law happily ever after. And wife will get two heavens, because she treat her mother and her mother-in-law well.

The End.




Medio January 2011, Singapore - Yishun